Omission
by peanutbutterer
Summary: Episode tag to 4.09, "The Gold Standard"


**I've never written anything so quickly or all in one sitting before. I'm going to ignore the obvious implications about its quality that comes with that last sentence and go ahead and post this. It will lose its relevance shortly anyway!**

* * *

"Kensi."

"Deeks."

She pushes past him and into his apartment without another word. So, yeah. This is going about as well as he'd imagined it would. "Come on in," he says long after she's done so, shutting the door against the cold.

She grunts in response and stalks around his living room like a bear, lifting up couch cushions, tossing aside magazines, and leaving destruction in her wake.

"Can I help you?" he asks from his place at the door.

With a scoff, she continues to prowl. He follows her when she disappears down the hall, but makes sure to keep a safe distance. When he steps into his bedroom, she's standing beside the bed, holding his phone and typing into it.

"Huh," she says. "I guess it is working. I should probably apologize to your service provider for the nasty email I sent earlier." She looks up and shows him the display. "Eighteen missed calls."

His defense system kicks in: evade, evade, evade. "You know my password?"

She rolls her eyes. "Nine, two, eight, three. W-A-V-E. I took two advanced D.O.D. cipher courses, Deeks. I think I can crack a code that could have been written by a six-year-old."

He frowns. "Guess I have to change my bank PIN, then."

"Don't bother. I already cleaned you out." She tosses the phone at him and folds her arms. "You going to explain yourself?"

"Nothing to explain, really," he says, feeling like he's prying the words out by force and absolutely hating doing it. _But doing it all the same_, he reminds himself. "The bailiff confiscated my phone. Apparently, he didn't appreciate Plants vs Zombies as much as I do. Such a shame. You know he just hasn't given it a chance."

"I had to work with Granger, Deeks. _Granger_."

He cringes. "I'm sure you... learned something?"

"Yeah, I learned that I don't want to have to work with _Granger_." She drops down onto his bed. "It was awful. I felt like I was in the principal's office all day. I kept saying ridiculous things, too. You'd have been proud. At one point I actually called him a 'grizzled veteran.''

"To his face?" Deeks can't help but laugh. "I bet that went over well."

"When Callen is giving you the 'shut the hell up' motion," she slices her fingers through the air under her chin to demonstrate, "you know you're pretty far gone."

"You should be flattered he even bothered. Usually Callen's content just to let me twist in the wind."

"Oh, he and Sam both got plenty of enjoyment out of my misery. Trust me."

There's no hidden meaning behind those last two words, but they still manage to hit him right in the gut. He does trust her - more than anyone. She's his partner, his best friend, the most important person in his life; of course he trusts her. But sometimes it's just not his choice.

"This didn't go over so well last time," she says quietly, almost to herself, and for a moment he thinks he must have been talking aloud.

"What's that?" he asks, stepping into the room and dropping onto the bed beside her.

"You lying to me."

He shakes his head. "You know I didn't have a choice, Kens. You know I would have told you. I did everything I could to get you in the loop. I begged, I pleaded. God, at one point Hetty was so fed up with me she just shook her head and turned away. You _know _I didn't want the Clarence Fisk op to go how it did."

She turns her head and looks him in the eyes. "And this one?"

He doesn't answer. He _can't _answer.

She laughs without a hint of mirth. "I know you weren't testifying. I know Granger's got you in something that even Hetty isn't in control of."

He opens his mouth to ask, but she waves him off.

"You think I'd believe that you spent all day in a courthouse and didn't send me one ridiculous text? You have the attention span of a gnat, Deeks. If you're not right next to me, my butt vibrates at least once every five minutes."

He raises an eyebrow.

"Because my cell is in my back pocket," she says, slapping him on the arm. "Don't be an ass."

He smiles, just for a second, before scrubbing his hand over his face. "I can't, Kens. I can't. You know what confidential means just as well as I do."

"Because my clearance level is higher than yours. Way higher."

"Oh, sure, rub it in."

She glares, her wall clearly settled in place. He knows she's reached the point where his jokes won't budge her. It's a point he really, really hates.

The silence that settles between them is far from the comfortable one that typically surrounds their quieter moments. Instead, it's charged with something that feels a lot like mistrust and hurt. He wants to talk it out, to fix it, to do _something_ but there's nothing he can do. Not today.

"I should, uh," he gestures to the bed they're perched on, "should probably get some sleep."

She bites her lip, probably to keep herself from voicing the undoubtedly harsh thoughts that are on the tip of her tongue. "Yeah, you probably had a long day."

"Yeah."

She nods, pushing off his bed and walking out of his bedroom. He follows her into the living room and opens his apartment door for her.

Kensi steps onto his welcome mat and turns back toward him. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

He looks down, unsure of whether he should answer her, or if even that would be considered a breach.

Her fists are clenched, knuckles white, but her voice is soft. "Well, if I don't, just - just be careful, okay? I don't like thinking that you're out there without me to back you up."

"I don't like it either," he confesses, meeting her gaze and trying to convey how true the words really are. He tacks on a smile. "Don't let Granger take my spot."

"I'll try and resist the temptation."

He nods as she turns away. "Night, Deeks."

"G'night, partner."

As he shuts the door behind her, he thinks about how much messier this is going to get and how this version of Kensi is nothing compared to the absolutely furious version of her he's going to have to face when everything comes to light.

Not for the first time, he prays in advance for his partner's forgiveness.


End file.
